Hideously-deformed man has a message of love

A hideously-deformed man says his love-heart-shaped nose is a sign from God that he should love people.

"I love everybody." he declared proudly to an international team of doctors who specialise in deformities. "I even love people who tell me my eyes are like fried eggs. Besides, it's not as though I am as tragically deformed as Spiderface Grubbings."

You can read more about hideously, tragically deformed Spiderface here

Lost City of Atlantis sighted from the air

A sensational picture was taken from the window of a European aeroplane last week - which the photographer is convinced shows the Lost City of Atlantis!!!

However, other passengers remained convinced that what they were seeing was simply France. They cited the fact that the aircraft had just taken off from Nantes and they were nowhere near any of the supposed locations of the Lost Continent.

The photographer remained defiant in his assertion however.

"Nantes" and "Atlantis" share several letters of the alphabet in common and that's good enough for me." he said.

Man eats radioactive strawberry

A man was admitted to a busy A&E department complaining of "spasmodic luminosity last week." Donald Fruit of Westchester Green had eaten a "very bright" strawberry and several hours later began to feel queasy. Upon stripping to the waist Mr. Fruit noticed a glow beneath the surface of the stomach.

"I swallowed it whole." he said. "Otherwise it might have made my whole stomach glow.

A geiger counter confirmed that strawberry was radioactive and investigations are under way to establish whether there may be a link between the strawberry and sightings of an alien creature running naked through the woods nearby shouting: "Has anyone seen my radioactive strawberry?"

Microphones will be grown on farms in jars

The fascinating field of crystallography may one day produce a new form of manufacturing in which objects ranging from engine blocks to microphones literally grow according to a pre-specified design.

Will microphones be grown one day in a microphone farm as in this animation created by WM3D?

Flower proves there really is life on Mars

At first glance this photo appears to be just a standard rocky terrain typical of the inner, uninhabited planets and moons of our Solar System but on closer inspection a botanical wonder can be seen peeping out from the rocks.

Last night scientists were poring over the astounding image, the first ever photograph of a FLOWER ON MARS.

Botanical experts were falling over themselves, vying for the right to name the new flower and debate which Earth species most closely corresponds with it.

However, it's now official. The plant HAS been named.

It is called George.

Shocking Announcement: Tutankhamen is dead!!!

A new urban legend is born. Apparently, a woman visiting the Tutankhamen exhibition berated a security guard because Tutankhamen is not alive!!!

The disappointed lady turned up at the exhibition expecting to see the millennia-old Pharoah being interviewed about "his works of art." She had hoped to ask King Tut how the jewels were inlaid in the ornate funeral mask.

Upon hearing that the boy king had been dead for thousands of years the lady, described as being in her late thirties, took it personally and hurled torrents of abuse at the hapless guard.

Tut may be dead but he still has more sense than at least one visitor to the exhibition.

Are there really people that barmy? Never be surprised.

Man disappears in unusual circumstances

Mr. Crisp, a member of the Northernville Affirmation Group, vanished into thin air in circumstances which left one observer reeling with shock.

Mr. Akimbo Mambo was conversing with Mr. Crisp - who appeared agitated at having been addressed. Up until that point he had kept himself pretty much to himself. An unwritten code of conduct in the group precluded any verbal interaction. He was not treated with disrespect but upon being asked why nobody spoke to him and he never said anything Mr. Crisp at once disappeared and has not been seen since.

It is not every day that someone literally fades away before one's eyes but several people witnessed this extraordinary event.

For more information about Mr. Crisp, read Spiderface by William Mobberley